I Am Sherlock Holmes, Cleverbot
by Auttzthoughtz
Summary: Sherlock gets a bit desperate. He's found out he's in love with his best friend and flat mate John Watson, and he's wondering where to go from there. What better reliable source than the internet to help him out? But what happens when he opens the wrong window to ask how to tell John? R & R please (for more of the story, perhaps?) Enjoy the fluffiness!


"I am Sherlock Holmes." Sherlock typed, annoyed as he was proclaiming himself to a machine. A machine that, in fact, was the only thing left that Sherlock could think of to confide in on the issue at hand.

"Good morning, Mr. Holmes." The machine replied much too formally.

Sherlock rolled his eyes. "It's not really morning. And I don't appreciate the insincerity."

"You obviously have something to ask, Sherlock. You hardly are one to rely on machines for this kind of thing. Out with it." The machine answered.

Sherlock took a deep breath before typing his first question. "Machine, do you think John is in love with me?" Sherlock asked tentatively, not really thinking much of the potential this machine had to help him.

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. Finally, the words came forth that Sherlock had been hoping to hear. "Yes. John is in love with you. He proclaimed that once in a bar after having too much to drink one night, it was surveyed about a month ago." The machine answered simply.

Sherlock smirked. It did sound very much like John to do such a thing. Now was the harder part. "How do I tell John I am in love with him?" Sherlock types carefully.

"Go up to him and say 'Hey, I think you're cute.'" The computer responded simply.

Sherlock groaned, pulling a hand over his face before typing his next response. "I can't do that. Wouldn't that just scare him off?"

"How much do you really know about dating, Sherlock?" The computer quickly responds.

Sherlock wants to lie. He wants to say that he knows everything about dating, having done extensive reading and studies. However, this is not a scenario in which lies will bring the proper result forward. He states simply, barely suppressing the frustration at showing his weakness: "This is not my area of expertise. That is why I am asking for assistance."

It takes more moments for the computer to respond to that. When it does respond, you would barely tell he had been there from the beginning of this conversation. "What do you need to know, again?"

"How I can tell John that I love him. How can I get him to want me after I tell him that?"

"I thought you were a computer?"

Sherlock was starting to get frustrated. Either this computer was really a sassy individual, or something kept clearing away its hard-drive knowledge. Not thinking he had another option, he explained himself to the machine once more. "No. I am a very human Sherlock Holmes that is very much in love with a very human John Watson."

"Show me how much you care about me."

Sherlock didn't know the change of pace, or the fact that the computer wasn't really a machine. All he thought was that the software was trying to place itself in John's shoes to help him out. "What do you want me to do to show you?"

Suddenly, the conversation changed. The computer had stopped replying, and Sherlock heard bustling coming from upstairs.

Sherlock groaned, knowing that meant he had to close the laptop before he was even done. He should have done this in his own room instead of the living room. He cursed at himself as he shut the laptop. He felt as if he was finally on the verge of cracking this code.

John wandered down the stairs, and Sherlock watched carefully. He had thought John had been asleep by now, it was late enough. Yet, John was looking awake as ever…if not a little dazed. The man was still dressed to the jumper and jeans, and he was heading right to Sherlock. Every time John was walking precisely to him, Sherlock knew he did something to upset his friend.

Sherlock had, in fact, recently left a recording device somewhere in John's room to try and study his sleeping patterns. That might not go over well if that's what John is coming for, Sherlock mulled over softly as he watched John finally stop to stand right in front of him.

Sherlock placed his laptop on the side table, and then shifted back his attention to John. "I thought you were sleeping."

"Sherlock, you were just on your computer trying to get advice?" John asks quickly, doubting the truth would come out immediately.

Sherlock's eyes went wide. Then, after a moment of panic, he calmed himself, he answered John. "No, why in heaven's name would you think that?"

John took a deep breath. "Sherlock, you obviously didn't mean to…but you pulled up the wrong site. You were asking _me_ for that advice."

Sherlock visibly starts to panic. He starts to fiddle with his hands, and his eyes grew wider than before as he tried to formulate a response. "John-uhm-I-"

John sits beside Sherlock, putting his hand on Sherlock's shoulder in an effort to calm him. Sherlock still shook a bit, but he had stopped fiddling and tapping. His attention was now completely fixed on John's reactions. "Sherlock, you must've been paying attention. What was the last request that I sent to you under the façade of the computer?"

"To show you," Sherlock paused, searching John for any sign that he was just going crazy, "If you want me to, I will."

John just nods his head, waiting to see what Sherlock will do.

Sherlock watches John for a few more moments, still more than a bit in disbelief of the situation, but he also knows that he has to do something soon or John will think he was lying. He leans forward towards John at first, as John patiently sits waiting he places one of his hands on the nape of John's neck and leans in. Then, a little less slowly than before, he just goes for it. Sherlock covers John's lips with his own, and hopes that John won't just run away when this is done.

John isn't upset at all, he kisses back Sherlock as well as he can. It's slow, slower than John's ever used to. When they pull away for air, John's got a goofy smile on his face. Sherlock, on the other hand, still looks very nervous and unsure.

John watches Sherlock carefully, concerned. "Sherlock…Sherlock, is something wrong?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Sherlock said, cataloging every little bit of John's stature and appearance, trying to figure out if John was happy with their kiss.

John laughed softly. "I'm, I'm fine, better than fine actually, Sherlock. Thanks to you, I mean." John was a bit upset that Sherlock didn't seem so giddy. John paused for a few moments, before finally realizing what was going on. "Sherlock, um, were you so nervous because…was that your first kiss?"

Sherlock waited a moment before nodding. "I wasn't sure if I did that right. I have very little knowledge and no previous experience in that area."

"Sherlock, you did fine." John said, flushing a bit. "I just, well I don't want to rush you or anything but can we…can we try that again?"

"Do you mean…in replacement of the first time?" Sherlock said, eyes widening again with concern.

John shook his head. "No, I just…but I don't want to…if you're not ready…"

Sherlock smiled softly. "I'm thirty-four years old, John. I'm in love for the very first time, and have managed to accidentally tell you that. But I do want you, in every way. I might need a little guidance though…and you might as well revel in that, because this is one of few subjects I don't do well in."

"You mean like you not knowing that the planets revolve around the sun?" John said, giggling at the memory.

Sherlock sighed. "I think this subject is going to be a touch more important." However, known for his impatience as he often is, he did manage to be as he pressed his lips to John's once again. This time he wasn't being so slow with things. But, to be fair, neither was John.


End file.
